1.
We were at a company picnic and we managed to get our boss drunk. He goes to take a piss on a tree but was drunk so he was fumbling for his penis. Our coworker proceeded to put a hot dog in his hand and he peed in his pants. The hilarious part was when he was done and his "penis" fell on the floor.
2.
Boss: "What the hell did you do to my computer? I'm entering my password, but all it's giving me is seven asterisks!"
Me: "Oh, don't worry. I changed your password to seven asterisks."
Boss: "Oh! Okay, thanks." (keeps trying...)
3.
My boss mailed a generic birthday card to me. It said "Happy Birthday, Greg!" with the word "Greg" crossed out and my name penned in above it. Greg was fired last month.
4.
So our staff had to put an ad together and I emailed [boss] and said he might want to take off the 'fuh shoooo' since it doesn't look very professional. He replies: 'FYI, 'fuh shoooo' is slang for 'for sure. I am a black girl from long beach and a 55 year old white man is teaching me slang
5.
I leave new boss my home number on voicemail out due to illness. He calls me on a Sunday morning after finding said number in his pants pockets. Thought he got the number at a bar previous night. When he realized his error, he couldn't look me in the eyes again. Treated me like shit after that.
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